I don't have to cook for you, but I do give you on a schedule

Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Sweetie, you forgot about the eggs — take them in your hand and kick them

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex

I fulfill all the desires of my beloved. She asks for sperm in her mouth, she gets it

Honey, let's fuck! You don't want to? At least let me jerk off with my tits

Woke the babe up early in the morning, knowing she wouldn't refuse to fuck

If you dreamt about sex, it means that soon you will definitely be fucked by someone

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex